Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Family christmas lunch

I'm pleased to report back that the Family Christmas lunch was what it was every year. Lovely.

In fact we're thinking of audtioning for a disney Christmas 2008. There were no conniving distant cousins, no drunken rumour-mongering aunts, no matriarchal martyr or vengeful ex-husbands, not a sniff of a neanderthal nephew on weekend detention. In fact so unlike the jerry Springer show was my christmas that it was almost a cliche. Just the way I like it .
The event this year was held at my sister Jessica's place. For this reason we also celebrated
Saturnalia, Yule, the Mesopotamian Zagmuk and drank toasts to Ishtar, El Gabal, Mithra, Buddha, his cat and various Gods, Demi-Gods, and any ousted Liberal party leaders who happenned to be wandering past. All this was done standing on one foot whispering a mantra celebrating the timeless universal actions of the contrating elements of the cosmos and how they manifest themselves into Jessica's Garden.
In conclusion, merry xmas to all, good will to all neighbours (except those Neighbours that go on to less than illustrious musical singing careers) and death to all contestants from Australian idol. Ho ho ho

Deck the halls with Ivy

Santa came early to James St on Christmas day. So early he woke Ivy up and by seven am we had unwrapped all the presents sung a few carols and even joined Boy George, Bono and Sting in a rousing rendition of feed the world.
Ivy proved to be an extremely gifted present open upererer. She loves the taste of paper, the scrunchy sounds it makes and the fact that her parents suddenly decided lying on the floor is an extremely interesting pastime.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Birds Christmas message

After entering this world on the auspicious date of 05/06/07, I have seen many things. I have sat and observed, taken things in and pushed things out the other end.
I have seen a kind world.
A world where strangers greet me with a smile. Where people just want to touch me, give me gifts and sing stupid songs to me. A place where people want to rock me, show me off and present me with gifts. They will feed me, clothe me and entertain me and all they want in return is a smile. This truly is a great world.
But sadly this world is not going to last.

Every day it changes.

Every day people become less interested in this world, no longer giving me the same attention as before. As I get older, people don't seem as interested any more. The world is changing. This is why I urge all of you to conserve this world. Do what you can to keep it the same because I love being carried around, I love being fed, sung to and smiled at. People everyhere I go are kind and ask all sorts of interested questions about me. It truly is a wonderful world... let's keep it that way

Australia's next top extra

Renowned international director Bill the queen Mcqueen, had just flown into sydney via Hong kong, Mumbai and Bangkok to film the latest installment of his eagerly awaited Nokia get lost campaign with local identity extra Kate Browne, when Sydney decided to remind Bill of the complexities of filming outside during storm season. But Bill fresh from filming during a snow storm in Northern India proved unflappable delivering a 45 second commercial under budget and shot within 2 days on a shoestring budget. His big find was Kate I'm such a good extra Browne who despite being a novice driver, was still able to drive a saab convertible mulitple times over the Sydney harbour bridge, whilst two nice young gents shouted at her to smile. Untethered surfboard in the back , it should have been a car ad, not a phone ad. But all this was no problem for the true professional Browne who despite it her first time driving over the bridge, still pulled it off with that trademark smiling head turn of hers.
The shoot finishishing seconds before storms settled in for three weeks was also notable for the inclusion of newcomers Ed I'm quite handsome Holmes and his daughter appearing in her inaugural television debut Ivy may the bird Browne. Quite a family affair, the whole thing reeked of nepotism and can be seen coming to a National Geographic Channel near you.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

"Paul Stanley... You ride for free son"

Those were the infamous words muttered to me by the light rail ticket collector as the clock struck midnight and the make up was running down my face in the packed compartment coming home from The Channel Ten Xmas party. For those of you not yet born in the eighties Paul Stanley was one of the members of Kiss who looked a lot like the handsome devil in the picture above. (one on the right you fools). The theme was eighties and there and there was no holding back. In fact I was rtather under dressed for the night. My highlight was the walk to the party thru Darling harbour and getting my picture taken by about 10 Japanese schoolgirls.
Hooray for daggy Xmas parties

Monday, December 03, 2007

Congratulations Mr Rudd

Not meaning to offend any liberal party leaning readers but hooray for Kevin. Yippeeeee and thank god I never have to hear another word from that morally bankrupt ex prime minister... what was his name again? Emma and Erin joined us for what was one of the more rowdier 4 people gatherings with hannah on the line from Germany enjoying every minute. A better nights entertainment watching the telly I havent had in years. In other news as can be seen friom the photo below I'm living with 2 peas in a pod. Ivy is eating solids which also means she's pooing solids, which means my job as doting dad has just got a whole lot harder. Every morning I'm aiming mashed up carrot into a small swivelling giggling hole and then cleaning up the smelly mess a few hours later.
and that's it I'm afraid what with facebook, baby, blog, work, life, Xmas parties and scientology inductions, life's just sooooo busy