Saturday, July 21, 2007

Kate's other husbands

Those of you with connections to Asio, or media monitors may recently have noticed a sharp spike in the appearance of Kate Browne under various different disguises across various different media.

On TV she has appeared with a middle aged husband in a clubs NSW ad. Her big blurry noggin comes right out at you. For getty images she can be seen above preggers with some man I hunted down last week and have tied up in the shed out the back ( don't tell Kate). On the choice website she can be seen with a baby who looks nothing like our little Ivy. Yes she's sold her soul to the Devil all in the aim of 5 minutes of fame and a little cash. I'm just wondering who's going to have the last laugh when she appears on a huge billboard advertising thrush treatment.

Friday, July 20, 2007

I know more than you about....

nappy rash, breastmilk, maternity pads, the effects of sleeping in 3 hour chunks on the body, going to the loo whilst a baby is strapped in your baby bjorn and negotiating a stroller down awkward stairs whilst collecting the mail, opening the gate and greeting the neighbour at the same time.
ok I admit it , I had no idea about the new Geoffry Rush play exit the king at the belvoir, and I havent heard of any of the current films playing at the local cinema, I have absolutely no clue on what bands are in Sydney , or what new exhibitions, festivals, restaurants, visiting dignatries, sand sculptors, or fascinating engaging people or events in this fair city. nothing, zilch nada.
But what can I tell you about is nappies, poo, and obscure infomercials broadcast at unsociable hours on Foxtel. I can also tell you about the hillbillies in leichhardt who sleep with cats and young babies
Oh the glamour of it all..... weird thing is I'm probably having a much better time than If I was Mr I've seen everything around town

Saturday, July 07, 2007

The best baby advice ever

Our little angel Ivy May has a cold, which brings about all sorts of dilemmas like how on earth is she going to blow her nose. She's not even sure if that really is her nose, let alone what the green slimy stuff getting in the way of breathing is. As for us we're in a constant state of panic wondering if she is going to stop breathing in the middle of the night. To settle our neerves I ventured to the pharmacist to get some tiny litlle nasal drops for tiny little noses. unfortunately they had runnied out of stock. No problem says the pharmacist. just put your mouth over hers and suck the snot out yourself.... You hear all sorts of funny advice as a parent

Friday, July 06, 2007

I believe... I'm more handsome than Lote

I believe... one of the great things working at Channel Ten is doing shoots like this one with the wallabies
I believe... the new wallaby jerseys make the players look like they have boobs
I believe... George Gregan looks a bit like a cut out version of himself
I believe... making wallabies say I Believe gets a bit tedious after a while
I believe... Lote tuquiri isnt the wild party man the press makes out
I believe... he just really likes sleeping in
I believe rugby union players are a lot more intelligent than league players
I believe the wallabies will win the world cup
but then I believe I have to say that