Easter Island, or as the Spanish prefer Isla de Pascua, or as the easter Islanders prefer Rapa Nui, or as my friends from the Lunatic fringe prefer to call The Lost continent of Mu. So what can be said about a place where more than 800 large stone heads populate an Island smaller than the suburb of Bondi? Well the truth about this place is that it is an extra terrestrial sculpture park. Nearly one galactic year ago (26,000 Earth years), humanity lived in peace harmony and more importantly prosperity. Unfortunately some really nasty aliens took a wrong turn on the supergalactic highway and landed on the lost continent of the Mu. Of course they found this goddy goody society sickening and set about turning these freaks into stone statues with grumpy faces. Today the only surviving Mu-ite is of course Malcolm Fraser whose likeness to the statues is obvious to anyone.
Today the mu-ites spend most of their time looking at elderly German tourists clad in safari suits. It truly is a very sad end but just goes to prove that the search for peace and harmony is anything but a noble cause.
But tourists come for miles to gaze at these large heads and invent all sorts of ridiculous explanations to as how they came to be standing all over the Island. One of the most bizarre theories is that they were carved by the islanders between 200 and a thousand years ago to honour their ancesters. They even point to the fact that various statues at different stages of completion have been found in a quarry displaying the stages of production. What freaks and very disrespectful to the Ancient tribe of Mu´s.These freaks even go on to say that the Islanders ran out of resourses in about the seventeenth century and henceforth a period of tribal warfare erupted which led to the toppling of the big heads (which these idiots call Moai). They go on to say the heads were moved with log sleds. How ridiculous as any idiot can see the heads walked down the hill themselves
Talking of big heads Kate fitted in very well on the Island despite the fact that it is one of the most isolated spots anywhere. It took us 5 hours and 40 minutes to fly from Chile, and for the record the tourists aint coming here for the food. Yes everything is in Tokyo prices and the vegetables are the same as 50´s Communist Russia. (With the queue´s as well) In fact so small is the Island that on the electronic map inside the plane showing where exactly we are on the planet, the diagramatic Aeroplane was in fact larger than the Island. But it was well worth the trip. We ended up having 4 days cycling, walking and getting sunburnt around this very beautiful but quite treeless Island. It even had a very tropical looking beach
One of the most interesting spots was the site of the Birdman cult. in this very strange ritual, men would climb down from the steep cliff in the photo below and swim out to the Islands you see behind me to search for sea bird eggs. First back thru the shark infested waters won the dubious honour of being the Birdman for a year. This involved living alone on a remote beach after having shaved off all your bodily hair. Mmmm maybe the alien theories arent as crazy as they sound