Australia Day 2010

To celebrate Australia day, Ivy returned from Kindy with two Aussie flags tattooed on her face and another two on her arms. This was particularly interesting when we went out for dinner and looked like the bogan parents from Cronulla. (overseas readers google Australian race riots)
It was also our paper wedding anniversary which we celebrated in style
The weekend also saw us in Nielsen Park where Kate vomited in front of everyone and told me off for not standing next to her. What is the correct etiquette for dealing with a pregnant wife publicly spewing?

What's that daddy?

"What's that daddy?" asks Ivy referring to the crack in the concrete between the two giant slabs at the opera House. " That' the crack Ivy " replies daddy

"What's that Daddy?" asks Ivy referring to the metal grate on the sink that stops the food going through. "That's the plug" I reply trying to sound convincing ...

"What's that daddy?" pointing to the bulby thing on the end of a lamp..." "some kind of bulby thing on the end of a lamp"... is the best I can muster

" What's that Daddy" she asks referring to the lumpy thing on the floor in a car between the two seats

"ummmmmmm , that's the thing that separates the two seats" I offer

" What's that Daddy?"demands Ivy examining the section of the coffee table that overhangs the floor

"That's the coffee table darling"

and I thought "Why's that daddy?" was going to be the tough stage....

It's official

Coming this July ... sleepless nights, and a new baby sibling for Ivy.

Thank Mary it's not twins and Yay for us.

Big train, Ferry boat and OHHHPPPEEERRRAAHHH House

It's just like all wanky travellers say "it's the journey not the destination" as so it goes for toddlers. We were off to the opera house but it was the big train, the ferry boat and the bus that was the real attraction
In between tantrums we did manage to get some great shots though
astute observers will notice the band aid obsession going on.

Mermaids and sea cows

Mermaid syndrome is where previously balanced two year olds suddenly become psychotic after seeing a human with a tail (usually in cartoon form). The psychosis is characterized by an intense love for all things fishy most notably a sea creature with human characteristics, ie head and waist.

Unlike pirate syndrome, sufferers don't develop exotic "sea accents" but mainly they exhibit a need to swim on dry land, shout mantras such as "I am mermaid" at the top of their voice to passing strangers and decorate their faces with floral underwater patterns. Other psychotic episodes include shouting "I am beautiful mythological aquatic creature and you are sea cow"this is usually directed to their mother.

Although no actual physical changes occur, young mermaids are convinced they have a tail, the ability to breathe underwater and most of all woo, young handsome princes passing by on their way to save the great underwater world.

Most cases are usually curable although it is known to develop into other new age psychosis in later life ... see Byron Bay Syndrome

NEW Year fashions.. a sneak peak

Ivy May Browne showing off the latest straight from the toddler catwalk

A very Dora christmas

Twas the 1st night of christmas and my true love gave to me ...

1 Dora laptop, 2 Dora pyjamas, 3 Dora dolls, 4 Dora pyjamas, 5 Dora DVD's, 6 Dora balloons, 7 Dora stickers 8 Dora blow outs and a pair of fluffy Dora undies
Muchas gracias Dora for making Ivy's christmas such a special event.

The happiest place in the world

Big Face Big Face Big face! That's right Ivy the big face is the happiest place in the world. Except of course when some smart arse kid high on fairy floss shoves past and takes the last place on the ferris wheel.
It was Ivy's first visit to Luna Park. First stop was Coney island and my favourite bit of technology ever invented. It is of course the incredible Green Ray Machine. Perhaps the only one left in the world, this machine can interpret your mind and deliver a reading in less than 30 seconds (as long as you follow the instructions)

"For a true reading insert one penny in the slot and stand in front of the green Ray. If you fail to carry out these instructions the reading will be a poor one" reads the inscription. I was first and after reading my thoughts a card was delivered.... "If you've got it flaunt it" This will now be my mantra for the next 6 months.

Ivy of course was more interested in the sex appeal machine. She put her hand in the slot and achieved a reading of .....
Just under 2. This makes her frigid and makes her daddy very happy.
The rest of the day was spent pushing over people on stilts, throwing cakes at clowns and vomiting on the rotor. What more can you ask for from the world's happiest place, big face.

The day the earth stood still

Every two years a work colleague of mine pays a window cleaner a fairly hefty sum to do all the windows in his house. That day was last Tuesday. Now referred to as "the day before Sydney's greatest dust storm". That man is welsh... need I say any more

Normally people fly to South Australia for a visit, but on this day South Australia decided to come to us. Lake Eyre apparently, or the dusty remnants of it. Waking up at 5.30 am, as we parents normally do, we were treated to the sight of something apparently no one in this emerald city has ever seen before.... Me in my pyjamas

At the zoo

It was Ivy's first real zoo adventure and it has to be said that she made an absolute monkey of herself.... sure there was a bit of of horsing round and general fishy business but ultimately it was unbearable. Much like the entrance fee of $45 per adult plus another $15 for parking and then your $4.50 for a bottle of water to look at the back of someone looking at the back of someone looking at the baby elephant. But whoever said I was a cynic? For me it was a chance to take the wife, the kid and the toy snake on a lovely Sunday adventure.