A mysterious looking alien phone rises out of a futuristic dome set in green landscaped hills, a self propelled vacuum cleaner with a long nose and the name nu nu sucks up some clothes and 4 colourful alien looking creatures complete with antennae's are cooking toast with smiling faces on it..."mmm tubby toast looks great doesn't it" whispers Kate.
It's time for teletubbies alright.
Previously I have usually only ever viewed teletubbies or teledo'mboqlar for any uzbek readers, after a massive night out on the turps and then the true meaning of the Tubbies was open to a slightly different interpretation. But now I am an avid viewer, often to be heard singing along to the catchy tune at the beginning (much to the chagrin and window closing of the young blokey neighbours next door).
My enthusiasm, however, is completely surpassed by little Ivy May age 11 months. Our tiny bird, whose average attention span is the time it takes the remote control to fall off the coffee table, is completely mesmerised by the strange mystical powers of Tinky Winky, Laa Laa, Ditsy and Po.
She can and does sit there transfixed without a sound for tens of minutes until finally a massive chuckle bubbles up, usually at the appearance of a radiant sun with a grinning toddler s face superimposed.
But even more amazing is that when, finally, Ivy's attention is diverted by some sparkly object on the floor, her mother continues to be hypnotised muttering "I wish I could live in the tubbytronic superdome" Those cognitive psychologists have a lot to answer for.
But it seems we're not the only ones obsessed by the whole teletubbie phenomenon. The late reverend Jerry Falwell ignited debate by accusing Tinky Winky the purple handbag carrying teletubbie of being a tool of homosexual criminal minds pushing their gay agenda. Apparently his triangular antennae is a bit of a give-away. This has been taken to the next level by the polish government who has hired psychologists to evaluate the effect on children's minds of this evil corrupt tubtronic behaviour. Thankfully sanity was restored when the boys from the chaser dressed up last year as Tinky Winky and crashed a gay club and a polish club. Apparently Tinky Winky was well received at both venues.